


If you put him in my path, then why do I have to lose him?

by DestielIsFuckinReal



Series: Season 12 codas [5]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Chuck is God, Coda, First Kiss, Fuck you spn, Gen, I'm NOT gonna let Cas die on a Thursday, M/M, Post-Episode: s12e23 All Along the Watchtower, Temporary Character Death, fixed it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-19
Updated: 2017-05-19
Packaged: 2018-11-02 13:56:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10945929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DestielIsFuckinReal/pseuds/DestielIsFuckinReal
Summary: I really really really hoped, until the end, but they just stabbed me in the heart. It was a stupid death and if they don't make it right in s13 I'm out and I'm not even sorry.I really love the show, but I can't keep going, not when they killed off the only character who saved the show that was on the verge of being canceled at every given moment. I so want to see them lose viewers if they don't bring the Angel back.





	If you put him in my path, then why do I have to lose him?

**Author's Note:**

> I really really really hoped, until the end, but they just stabbed me in the heart. It was a stupid death and if they don't make it right in s13 I'm out and I'm not even sorry.  
> I really love the show, but I can't keep going, not when they killed off the only character who saved the show that was on the verge of being canceled at every given moment. I so want to see them lose viewers if they don't bring the Angel back.

Dean kneels next to Cas's body. He puts two fingers on his neck checking his pulse, stupidly. There's the shadow of his wings on the ground. He moves his hand up, to Cas's jaw, caressing his cheek with his thumb. He feels a couple of tears falling, but he could care less. Dean stays like that for a while, just looking at his Angel, feelings the stubble with his thumb, when he hears footsteps, and someone clearing his throat.

«We should get as far as we can from here» Sam says, then hesitates, «and we should give him a hunter's funeral»

«Why?» Dean asks turning to his brother. He's surprised at how firm his voice is. «He isn't... He wasn't human, he can't come back at us as a ghost»

Sam doesn't say anything, and Dean turns to Cas again. «There are Enochian handcuffs in the car, take the brat and get away from here»

«But Dean...»

«Do as I say» Dean answers harshly. He doesn't turn, but he knows Sam is wearing one of his bitch faces.

«How will you come back?» Sam asks.

«I'll manage»

There's a moment of silence, then Dean hears Sam walk to the car, open it and go back to the house when he finds the handcuffs.

It takes Sam ten minutes, more or less, to get out of the house and one more minute to get into the car with the Nephilim, turn on the engine and drive away. Luckily Lucifer's spawn is easy to control. For now...

Only then Dean lets it go. He cries and cries, his forehead on Cas's.

_God, please, I love him, please bring him back to me. I... I don't know what I could do without him. I love him, please._

He knows it's useless, he knows that Chuck gives less than a shit about humanity, that he's too busy playing family with his sister now, but he can't stop. He takes Cas in his arms, hugging him and leaving pointless kisses on his head, one of the Angel's hands in his, repeting over and over "I love him, please" into Cas's hair. He rocks back and forth, as to comfort Cas like he did with Sammy when he cried, when he was just as high as the Impala's hood.

He doesn't know for how long he stays like this. It could have been minutes, it could have been hours, when he feels a hand on his shoulder and he stops.

 «Hey kid»

Dean recognizes that voice. He turns to it, seeing Chuck smiling at him.

«How did you...»

«I heard your prayer and sensed your longing» Chuck interrupts, crouching next to Dean. God passes one hand in Cas's hair, smiling fondly. «He was my best creation, my favorite Angel of all»

«Can you bring him back?» Dean asks abruptly. «You... You said that...»

«It will take time, Dean» Chuck stops the hunter again, «and I've never done it before, not when the Angel has been stabbed with a blade, so I don't know»

«Well try then! You're the almighty or whatever, so try!»

Chuck sighs. «Of course»

The last thing Dean sees before the bunker door is Chuck's smile. Dean runs one hand on his face and opens the door, looking for Sam. He's nowhere in sight. Dean goes to the garage, but the Impala isn't there yet, so Sam must be somewhere... If the Nephilim didn't break out the handcuffs and he hurt Sam. Dean tries to call Sam on the phone, but it goes straight to the voicemail and an evil feeling settles in Dean's heart. He can't lose his family in one night, he can't bear it. He pours himself a glass of whiskey, he needs something strong, and decides to stay awake until Sam comes back, but up to the sixth glass, sleep claims him.

He wakes up some time later with someone shaking his shoulder.

«Dean? Dean, hey man» it's Sam who's shaking him. «Hey, when did you get back?» he asks when Dean opens his eyes.

«Sammy?» he runs one hand on his eyes and sits up straight.

«Yeah, man, how did you come back?»

Dean grunts, «Guess» and when Sam gives him a confused look, he clarifies, «Our old pal Chuck»

Sam widens his eyes almost imperceptibly, «Wait, God himself?»

«The one and only»

«Wow, didn't think he would come back» Sam says, crossing his arms.

«Me neither... Where did you put the kid?»

«In the dungeon, still handcuffed and with flaming holy oil around him»

Dean stands up and pats his brother on the shoulder, «Good job, Sam» he starts walking to the bathroom, he really needs a shower, when Sam stops him.

«Hey, how... How...» he clears his throat and reformulates, «What did God want?»

Dean sighs, «I promise I'll explain everything later, I need a shower now»

Sam nods and Dean takes it as a clue to go.

Dean takes his time in the shower, resting his head on the wall and thinks of Chuck's words. _It will take time, and I've never done it before, not when the Angel has been stabbed with a blade, so I don't know._ Dean closes his eyes. He's not a man who hopes, but he is now, he's really hoping Chuck would make it. Hell, he's never been a man of faith either, but he started praying since Cas came into his life. That dorky Angel. _His_ dorky Angel and if Chuck can't bring Cas back, he'll never have the chance to tell him. He finds himself crying again, his tears running down with the water, he can't lose him. He can't lose Cas, not again and not definitely. He shuts off the water and gets dressed before meeting his brother in the library. He sits on the chair across from Sam and tells him everything, excluding his confession of love. 

«So Chuck can sense things like Angels?» Sam asks at the end and Dean shrugs.

«I don't know, man, that's what he said» the elder Winchester says.

«And Cas? He's...»

«I don't know Sam, ok?» Dean interrupts, harsher than intended, he still doesn't want to talk about it. «Look» he sighs, pinching his nose, «I'm gonna go do some research on how to deal with baby Lucifer» and without another word, he stands up and walks to his room, slamming the door behind him.

One week passes and there's no word from Chuck. Then two weeks, then three, and it's still radio silence from Chuck. Three days into the fourth week, Dean takes his jacket and heads for the door of the garage.

«Where are you going?» Sam asks him.

«Out»

«Dean...»

«Look, I can't take it anymore, ok? Chuck is MIA and if I don't do something I'll go crazy, so I'm gonna get stupid drunk, don't stay up» and with that he walks to the garage and he's out of the bunker, driving to the nearest bar.

He's lost count of his tequila shots when his phone vibrates in his pocket. He doesn't even check the ID (knowing too well who it might be) before answering with a «'d ya want, Sammy, s'said 'd go stupid drunk, 'nd 'm almost theer»

«I'm not Sam, Dean»

Dean sits up straighter. «Then 'd hell ya're?»

«Chuck» God's smile can be heard in his voice.

«Hope ya've good news dude» Dean says, then chuckles, «'m talking with God» he says looking at the bartender, who's eyeing him weird. Dean grins at her, then whispers into the phone, «Dude, 'm so scared 'f you, ya're so small, but you are God, the creator 'f everything, humans, Angels...» then, he adds, as an after thought, «Did you fix my Angel? Please tell me you did, I can't live without my Angel»

Chuck laughs softly. «I think you should see it yourself»

«'m stupid drunk, I can't drive, idiot» he says, then adds, «No sorry, I didn't mean that, don't erase me from 'xistence»

Chuck laughs heartily here. «I'm not gonna erase you from existence, just get out of there and come here to your car»

Dean ends the call, pays the bartender and stands up, wobbling a little (and chuckling like an idiot at his lack of balance) and slowly walks out the bar and to the Impala, where Chuck is waiting for him leaning on her.

«My old friend God the almighty!» Dean shouts when he sees him.

«Dean, keep it down!» Chuck says and Dean laughs, «'m drunk, d'you think people will believe what I say?»

«Wher's my Angel?» Dean says after a moment of silence.

Chuck, as for answer, snaps his fingers and Dean is sober again.

Dean exhales, «Thanks man, you saved me from an ugly hungover»

Chuck smiles and zaps them both and the car back to the bunker.

«Dude, next time a little warning would be cool»

«You wanted to see your Angel,» Chuck says, smirking a little at the last part but Dean pretends he didn't notice that, «let's go see your Angel» and walks to the bedrooms with Dean following.

Chuck opens one door and steps aside, making room for Dean to walk inside. Cas is there, on the bed. He looks so peaceful, like he didn't die of a stupid death just a month ago, like he's sleeping.

«He is sleeping» Chuck says, clearly hearing Dean's thoughts.

«Are you sure...?» Dean starts, but doesn't know how to finish.

Chuck just nods and pushes Dean a little into the room. Dean takes the hint and walks to the bed, sitting on it. He runs one hand in Cas's hair, smiling a little. He feels tears in the back of his eyes, but he's not gonna cry.

Cas stirs a little, and blinks his eyes open. «Dean?» he asks, his voice deep with sleep.

Dean smiles wide and a tear falls from his eye. Traitor.

«Hey buddy» he says.

Cas sits up, «Dean, I... I don't understand...»

«Ssh Cas, it's ok» the hunter says and takes Cas in his arms. «I thought I lost you for real this time»

Cas hugs him back, hiding his face in Dean's neck, «I thought I lost you too»

After what seems like hours, Cas raises his eyes and only then he spots Chuck.

«Father?» he says, incredulous.

Chuck nods, «I brought you back, Castiel, and» he snaps his fingers and a bright light envelopes the Angel, casting his shadow on the wall, «I gave you back your wings too»

Cas turns around to see said wings shadowed on the wall, a smile appearing on his face, and Dean is totally mesmerized by it. He decides he likes Cas's smile.

«Thank you» Cas says to Chuck, who does something like a bow and walks away, leaving Dean and Cas alone.

Dean puts a hand on Cas's face, so the Angel can look at him. «Before this all happens again, hoping it _won't_ happen again» he says, moving closer, «I need to tell you something»

«I know, Dean, I love you too» Cas smiles and kisses Dean, just a peck on the lips. Dean grins and brings the Angel back for a proper kiss full of promises. They kiss and kiss, and then lay down, just looking at each other, tender touches, until Dean claims he needs his sleep and Cas tugs him close, Dean's back on Cas's chest. The last thing Dean hears before falling asleep, is Cas's voice promising him he won't go anywhere and that he's watching over him.

**Author's Note:**

> There, fixed it. Again.  
> (and sorry for my rant at the beginning)


End file.
